Mmm.
It's my birthday tomorow. I'm turning 18. The big 1-8. Which comes with voting and jury duty,and permanant criminal records. (sarcastically: yay...)
I have absolutly no idea what do to that is out of the ordinary to mark such an occasion. Getting wasted is out of the question. So...if somebody wants to help me out...I'm open to suggestions.
One of my friends suggested we go to a male stip club and shove loonies down the stippers' thongs. Well, I don't think they would appreciate cold metal so close to their nods. And frankly, I don't trust myself around naked, thrusting men. I feel a panic attack coming on. Besides, I think there is nothing funnier on this whole planet than a buff man shaking his ass in a thong. I go into incontrolable fits of laughter every time I see one, which is surprisingly often. Oh well.
Perhaps a night out at the movies. I've been meaning to see Meet the Spartans. Seems like a hilarious movie. I love the girl from MadTv who plays bald Britney. Mm. Should be fun.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Follow Up
I started taking "Marvelon 28" last Sunday, and I've gotta say...I'm pretty hor-motional. Don't believe me? Well, yesterday while watching the audtions of American Idol....I cried. And maybe you,re thinking:"Well, maybe she felt bad for a rejectee." Oh how wrong you are. It had nothing to do with the actual show. I just started reflecting on my life and how horribly untalented I am, and how I'm probably gonna die alone. Proof? Here's a quote from my journal:
"Want to crawl under my blanket and never come out. Disapear forever. Songe will never be written about me, will never get married. Feel like a truck just passed over my lungs.What was I thinking? As if M. would be interested in me. I'm such a fool! A completely idiotic toxic waste.I feel so damn isolated. How is it possible for a person to go so damn unnoticed? He breaks my heart with every smile. It's like god himself is smiling at me. Fuuuuccckkkkk! I feel shit."
There. You see? Completely neurotic. And I just transcripted the lesser parts. I don't want to come off as a complete psycho. Anyways....I guess it felt good to blow off some steam. Its kinda sad that it took an extra dose of oestrogene to help me get it out. Huh. I guess drugs are the answer to my problems.
Well, if you'll excuse me kids, I have to go shoot up behind a dumpster in an alley.
"Want to crawl under my blanket and never come out. Disapear forever. Songe will never be written about me, will never get married. Feel like a truck just passed over my lungs.What was I thinking? As if M. would be interested in me. I'm such a fool! A completely idiotic toxic waste.I feel so damn isolated. How is it possible for a person to go so damn unnoticed? He breaks my heart with every smile. It's like god himself is smiling at me. Fuuuuccckkkkk! I feel shit."
There. You see? Completely neurotic. And I just transcripted the lesser parts. I don't want to come off as a complete psycho. Anyways....I guess it felt good to blow off some steam. Its kinda sad that it took an extra dose of oestrogene to help me get it out. Huh. I guess drugs are the answer to my problems.
Well, if you'll excuse me kids, I have to go shoot up behind a dumpster in an alley.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Scared
So I’ve decided to go on « The Pill ». I have yet to decide which brabd to go with. I love the « Allesse » commercials, and it says on the box that it clears moderate acne. which is good, except I don’t have any acne. So that doesnt really do anything for me. My other choices include tri cyclen-lo, and some other brands i can’t even remember the name of right now. They all have their own advantages…ah decisions…
The reason I’m putting myself through this is because my best friend recently had a pregnancy scare. And since she was scared, I was required to be scared as well. Finally, yesterday, we got her a pregnancy test in the school nurse’s office. It was quite awkward. She had to pee in a cup, and the nurse had to determine the level of oestrogene in her urine. I had to stifle my laughter for half an hour. It was too unreal. Thank god, she isn’t pregnant. Instead of getting a prescription for « The Pill », she decided to just buy a « Morning After Pill ». I consider this quite stupid, although I didnt’t tell her that (after all, she almost saw her life flash in front of her eyes). Why doesn’t she just prevent something like this from ever happening again?
Sometimes I just dont understand human beings. *sigh*
Anyways, I’ll come to a decision by Sunday and fill in.
The reason I’m putting myself through this is because my best friend recently had a pregnancy scare. And since she was scared, I was required to be scared as well. Finally, yesterday, we got her a pregnancy test in the school nurse’s office. It was quite awkward. She had to pee in a cup, and the nurse had to determine the level of oestrogene in her urine. I had to stifle my laughter for half an hour. It was too unreal. Thank god, she isn’t pregnant. Instead of getting a prescription for « The Pill », she decided to just buy a « Morning After Pill ». I consider this quite stupid, although I didnt’t tell her that (after all, she almost saw her life flash in front of her eyes). Why doesn’t she just prevent something like this from ever happening again?
Sometimes I just dont understand human beings. *sigh*
Anyways, I’ll come to a decision by Sunday and fill in.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Papi
Spoke to my gramps this weekend. Turns out he has prostate cancer. It’s still in the early stage, but it’s still scary. He says he doesn’t want the surgery, or even chemo. He wants to try something more natural like « herbs» and pastes, and goddamn meditaion. If he wasn’t my grandpa, I would probably kick his ass for being so frikkin daft! Grass and thinking will NOT cure him. I just dont get it. And its not like I can talk to him about it. He’s more stubburn than I am. Its a family trait : my mother, my sister, my aunt, uncles, cousins , the whole clan. Its what makes us the Bambara Family. A bunch of idiots who would rather die than admit they were wrong. It’s quite manic actually..
Bloody hell! I’m so effing pissed!
By the way.my sodding mother is the one who suggested the frikking natural medicine. She’s always been like this and I didnt mind until it came to my gramps’ life. I’ve been feng shui-ing since i was in bloddy diapers…alright, moving my couch will make me richer…thnx…I’m just happy i can afford this couch.
I just feel shit right now. I hate my sodding mum. I wish i could just tell her to bugger off!
Bloody hell! I’m so effing pissed!
By the way.my sodding mother is the one who suggested the frikking natural medicine. She’s always been like this and I didnt mind until it came to my gramps’ life. I’ve been feng shui-ing since i was in bloddy diapers…alright, moving my couch will make me richer…thnx…I’m just happy i can afford this couch.
I just feel shit right now. I hate my sodding mum. I wish i could just tell her to bugger off!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Perplexed
The oddest thing happened this morning. As I was walking down Rideau street to catch the #2 bus on my way to school, a rather cute young bloke accosted me. Our too short conversation went as followed.
Him : « Hi, do you have a quarter?»
Me : « Um, no. I dont carry cash.»
Him : «Do you have a cigarette?»
Me : «Oh, no I don’t smoke.»
Him : «Oh well then, do you have a boyfriend? (All the while staring at my breasts)
Me : Yes! »
And that was it. I walked away from a perfectly good oppurtunity of ge tting laid. I don’t know why I did it. I guess I just got scared. But how is this logic? I have been dying to get some ever since I broke up with Ismael. I even tried going to a bar last Satuday, but I just chickened out! Its not like me. I mean, my birthday is next week. I will be turning 18. FINALLY! But I just know that at the rate I’ve been going, I’ll spend it alone in my tiny little appartement.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Could it have something to do with my dear little blossom? My sweet, sensual, little flower? Why are you tormenting me? I have never been in a situation such as this before. To be quite frank, I don’t have the slightest idea on how to deal with this. I don’t even believe in romantic love. I mean sure, it’s a nice concept, and it helps sell self-help books to overweight middle-aged women, and true, it makes them dish 10 bucks to see two hours of concentrated crap, but really, it’s a lot of bullshit.
But lately I’ve been reasoning a little differently. I actually envision spending my life with this person, even maybe someday getting married. This is really unlike me.
Hmmm..will ponder this issue more thoroughly tomorrow.
Him : « Hi, do you have a quarter?»
Me : « Um, no. I dont carry cash.»
Him : «Do you have a cigarette?»
Me : «Oh, no I don’t smoke.»
Him : «Oh well then, do you have a boyfriend? (All the while staring at my breasts)
Me : Yes! »
And that was it. I walked away from a perfectly good oppurtunity of ge tting laid. I don’t know why I did it. I guess I just got scared. But how is this logic? I have been dying to get some ever since I broke up with Ismael. I even tried going to a bar last Satuday, but I just chickened out! Its not like me. I mean, my birthday is next week. I will be turning 18. FINALLY! But I just know that at the rate I’ve been going, I’ll spend it alone in my tiny little appartement.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Could it have something to do with my dear little blossom? My sweet, sensual, little flower? Why are you tormenting me? I have never been in a situation such as this before. To be quite frank, I don’t have the slightest idea on how to deal with this. I don’t even believe in romantic love. I mean sure, it’s a nice concept, and it helps sell self-help books to overweight middle-aged women, and true, it makes them dish 10 bucks to see two hours of concentrated crap, but really, it’s a lot of bullshit.
But lately I’ve been reasoning a little differently. I actually envision spending my life with this person, even maybe someday getting married. This is really unlike me.
Hmmm..will ponder this issue more thoroughly tomorrow.
Friday, January 11, 2008
The big issue of 2008:
The presidential election.
Now..as a black woman, I am divided between two candidates. Hilary Clinton and of course, Barak Obama.
Bill's raw sexual magnetism aside, the only reason I would want Hilary Clinton in the white house again, is simply that I am a feminist. I have little to no interest in her policies. I'm sure they're very structured and relevant, but let's face it : Nobody cares. It's not like we're worried she might run the country into the ground...I mean, Bush already took care of that. But a woman president may be just what we need after women like Paris Hilton and Britney have proved to the world that women are basically just for coking it up and squezing out babies. If we have a woman at the head of the nation, a figure of authority, maybe, just maybe...will the world see what were capable of.
Barak. Hmmm. Black man. Very sexy bloke. Will probaly make the White House the Black House. Its about damn time. After Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcom X, african-americans have long awaited a new political leader. We havent moved much since the sixties, and frankly, we had become antsy.
Of course, there is a person that embodies both of these candidates : Oprah Winfrey. Even if she has no experience in actual politics, she has an uncanny control over ppl. I mean, the books she recomends arent even that good, but since she's frikkin Oprah!, ppl read them anyway.
Seriously, I think Oprah would make a good president. Vote for Opie!
Now..as a black woman, I am divided between two candidates. Hilary Clinton and of course, Barak Obama.
Bill's raw sexual magnetism aside, the only reason I would want Hilary Clinton in the white house again, is simply that I am a feminist. I have little to no interest in her policies. I'm sure they're very structured and relevant, but let's face it : Nobody cares. It's not like we're worried she might run the country into the ground...I mean, Bush already took care of that. But a woman president may be just what we need after women like Paris Hilton and Britney have proved to the world that women are basically just for coking it up and squezing out babies. If we have a woman at the head of the nation, a figure of authority, maybe, just maybe...will the world see what were capable of.
Barak. Hmmm. Black man. Very sexy bloke. Will probaly make the White House the Black House. Its about damn time. After Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcom X, african-americans have long awaited a new political leader. We havent moved much since the sixties, and frankly, we had become antsy.
Of course, there is a person that embodies both of these candidates : Oprah Winfrey. Even if she has no experience in actual politics, she has an uncanny control over ppl. I mean, the books she recomends arent even that good, but since she's frikkin Oprah!, ppl read them anyway.
Seriously, I think Oprah would make a good president. Vote for Opie!
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